This is the last post in the Backstory, for now, and as we wrap up this important stage in the Creative Superhero's Journey I wanted to give a few practical ideas for dealing with your Backstory. The past few posts have addressed how to sort the good from the bad in our Backstory and some steps for moving forward. Today I want to give a few ideas for specifically how to address areas of pain, brokeness, trauma, and wounding in our Backstory.
Here's the thing, we all have areas that hurt if you poke them (or should) in our Backstory, it's part of being a human. Admitting that you have things to heal in your story is not bringing any shame on yourself, your family, or your community. Strong, healthy people know when to get help and healing. It takes incredibly humility to admit that we are weak in areas and need help, and to actually take the steps and do the work to get the healing we need.
The process of healing our Backstory looks different for each person but here are a few things that may help:
1. Read the books
What books help you may change depending on what you're dealing with, but these are a few that we've found helpful:
- Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend - this classic can help you identify and set up appropriate boundaries, something most of us need help doing.
- The Gifts of Imperfection, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, I Thought It Was Just Me by Brene Brown - these books will help you work through shame and into living a wholehearted life.
- Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk - another great boundaries & relationships book
- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie - just what it sounds like.
- To Be Told by Dan Allender - a book about owning our own stories
2. Put yourself in a safe environment
You cannot get healing unless you are vulnerable. It is very hard to be vulnerable unless you are in a setting that feels safe. This setting may be a community, family, city, home, job, etc. If any of those things in your life make you feel unsafe or put you in survival mode (which is almost impossible to get healing in) than you may need to change your setting before you can really get healing. If you are dealing with family trauma than living at home with your parents is probably not the safest place to get healing. If your city or lifestyle is causing you to live in survival mode, than maybe consider a move or change of space. We have to be willing to do the work and make the changes necessary to put ourselves into a safe environment so we can get healed and move forward in wholeness.
3. Get Counseling: from a good, licensed counselor.
We are working on finding more hands on resources for things like this for you all so that we aren't telling you to do something and not equipping you to do it. We are hoping to have an article about how to find a good counselor and what a healthy counseling relationship should look like, but in the meantime, look for someone, find reviews, ask friends for recommendations... There are good people out there. Sometimes it helps to have someone who is trained to listen well and bring insight. They aren't going to have every solution but can definitely help bring a new perspective. Our families and friends don't have all of the answers, and often aren't equipped with the tools, to walk us through deeply traumatizing things, they cannot be expected to carry that burden alone. There is no shame in getting professional help, and it may change your life.
These are not all of the solutions or answers, but they are a few ideas to get you started. Getting healing from our Backstory, forward through the rest of our journey is so important. No one is perfect, and issues that we ignore or stuff will come back stronger when we least expect them. Take the time to get healing in your life now so that you can go on to live as an incredible Creative Superhero with full, wholehearted use of all your powers. We love you! We can do this!
Emily is a creative entrepreneur, born in the South, raised in Colorado, and loving life in Virginia Beach, VA. As the co-founder of Bright Ideas she spends her time doing freelance photography, writing music and blog post, designing pretty web things, drinking coffee, experimentally cooking, and exploring her city. You can listen to Emily's music, follow her adventures on Instagram or Twitter, see what inspires her on Pinterest, check out her photography on Facebook, or hire her here.